If I decided to list out all the times I have taken a break from blogging, and started linking them out here, then in addition to it being a pretty long list, it would also be a fairly time-consuming and boring task. And time, and attention are too things, I am fairly a miser of, these days.
So, I’ll just begin.
The break, this time lasting close to a couple of months, was a well-intentioned one. This in stark contrast to all the times I’ve done this before. Times when I had been plain lazy. Lazy, yes, that’s a word I picked up today. A word that describes me, and has been describing me, quietly enough, for all my good years of college, and another one after that.
Not in a ‘lazy people find short cuts’ way, but rather in a ‘you’re wasting your life away’ kind of way. And if that was not clear enough, a bad way.
I am at a job, which
allows should allow me, to write. It fits should fit perfectly with the plan I had; of a job not too taxing, of having time, and money, to write.
We must live after all!
But every once in a while, and a little too often for my liking, I find myself wondering if I did right; if I am doing right?
I look at my compatriots, mates, and otherwise, from college, people I know, people I did not know, doing things, that look so awesome!
See what I did there?
I could not even say that they are doing awesome things!
I look at them, doing these awesome things, and I question my decisions. I look at the world, building things; and I question my decisions. Yes, my decisions. Because, I chose this. And yet, now I question it.
This is reading more, and more the journal entry, I seldom make, and less, and less the blog post that it is supposed to be!
Getting back to the break then; I had decided to concentrate solely on finishing the book I have been meaning to finish for close to an year now. More, most probably. The stories have changed, true. And I am still halfway through, truer. But I had decided that I would finish this book, and then I would pick up the blogging from where I had left it.
And that had helped, initially.
See, I was writing. Really, I was! And then, I wasn’t. And then some other stuff happened. And today, I realized there was no point in not writing anything!
Because, ever since I had stopped writing, a couple of people who actually enjoyed reading what I wrote, here, had grown unhappy.
And I saw no good coming off of that!
Life is funny this way; at times it feels a little too short to do things that matter, and at others, a little too long, allowing you to sit back, and just breathe it all in!
So, I’m back here, hoping again, like the hopeless romantic I am, that this love affair will continue. That something good, presentable will come of it.
This, this is trash; but it needs to be out there too!